Doug's Hangtown Journey

56^th annual Hangtown National motocross

I think it’s been a few years since I’ve written a story on Hangtown. I’ve actually done my little gig the last few years but haven’t reported on it, which for those who don’t remember or give a shit is do security for the Dirt Diggers in the Husqvarna factory pits. I think this was the fourth one I’ve done in the Husky pits so I do get to see some of the same people each year.

This year was scaled down a lot from previous years, in the past KTM, Husky and Gas Gas all had two haulers each, this year KTM was the only one that had the typical two semi haulers, Husky and Gas Gas had one semi hauler each and were end to end with each other. They shared one area to wash the bikes; they had separate hospitality areas but only one cook for both brands. 

I’ll talk about the usual Hangtown stuff that I see and hear each year, but this year I want to spend time talking about what I experience while hanging out in the pits. I’ve always paid attention to what all the people who work for those companies do all day but this year I really zeroed in on what goes on during the day and found it fascinating.

This year because the Husky and Gas Gas rigs were in a sense together I found myself going back and forth between the two rigs. Paul, who has been one of the Husky truck drivers and the cook for the Husky team for all the times I’ve been doing this, was this year wearing a Gas Gas uniform and driving the Gas Gas rig and doing the cooking for both rigs. Seems to me he started cooking breakfast around 7AM until around 9AM. His breakfast specialty that day was fried eggs and bacon strips; cheese on bread and for the first time I was treated to one of them and yes it was good. Around 11AM he started frying hamburger, chicken, assorted veggies and making salad. He told me he typically goes through 15 lbs of chicken a day. I don’t know how many years he’s worked for KTM but before his current job he was a factory mechanic for years. Paul has on more than one occasion let me know when I was doing something I shouldn’t be, he’s sort of been my mentor that way and has a reputation as great guy but a no nonsense guy.

In the Husky pits there were only two bikes both 450’s, one for Malcolm and one for Hampshire. The mechanic working on RJ’s bike that day is normally Justin Barcia’s mechanic, so he’s wearing a Husky uniform not a Gas Gas one. I asked the team manager if all the tool box tools are laid out exactly the same in each of the teams and the answer was yes for continuity. In fact a lot of the jobs are laid out so that personnel can move from one team to another seamlessly. For instance the Husky team manager this day was also the Gas Gas team manager and besides all those duties he also makes sure the wash stations are ready and when the mechanics finish power washing the bikes he would wash off the tarp and on this day change out the bike stands from Husky to Gas Gas and back again after each washing. Each bike was washed four times on race day and at least once on practice and press day on Friday.

In the Gas Gas pits there were two 250 bikes, one for Ryder De Francisco and one for Casey Corcoran. I spent a lot of my time hanging around the Gas Gas mechanics they were both young guys. All the mechanics followed virtually the same routine every time they cleaned the bikes and typically all finished at the same time, unless they were checking a specific thing like clutches on the 250”s usually after practice and each moto. After all these years I’ve never seen a mechanic change the front tire, but before the first moto they will change the rear tire and wheel and again before the second moto. The 450 Husky’s had an interesting device on one of their fork legs, I’m sure it was for data acquisition, there was a device attached to the bottom of the triple clamp and a straight wire attached to the bottom of the fork leg that probably moved up and down with the suspension movement.   

In each pit was a WP (White Power) suspension technician. These guys also work for KTM in previous years I’ve seen them constantly checking the suspension not this day they both did very little. I assume the settings were where the riders wanted them. I don’t remember seeing a suspension tech make any changes all day, that was interesting in the past I’ve seen them make changes after each practice and moto. There was also one guy per pit who cleaned the rider’s boots and helmets after each time they were on the track. I also saw them washing and drying rider jerseys and if needed, I saw the team manager jump in and do some of those things as well. Everybody had assigned jobs but I saw everyone jump in when and where they were needed.

Because of the heat the riders were in the haulers virtually all day and only appeared when it was time to do something on the bike. I did talk with RJ while he was riding stationery bike, he’s been one of my hero’s for a long time. Big James, Malcolm’s dad would come out and sit in the VIP area like a king and sign autographs and take pictures for long stretches then duck back into the hauler, it was amazing he is very, very popular, he’s a very friendly easy to talk with guy.

When they opened the pits to the public at 9AM they became very crowded. Deegan’s pit was across the way and down a bit from the Gas Gas pit, it was four and five deep around his pits for the whole three hours they were open that was also amazing to see. I’m sure the Honda pits were busy as well, but don’t know if they were like Deegan’s. The one rumor floating around the pits was that Joe Shimoda has signed with Husky for next year, I asked the Husky team manager and he said no, but did agree with me that Husky needs a top 250 rider to replace RJ who’s now on a 450.  I also asked him if Husqvarna and Gas Gas were going to be around next year his answer was a simple yes and I believed him. I also believe I was looking at the new format which was one team hauler for Husky and one for Gas Gas a much more compact streamlined approach.

The pits are closed at 12PM and everybody who doesn’t have the proper credentials is moved out. When the pits are cleared my jobs importance is virtually done. About 12:30PM I rode my E bike up to my motorhome for a bite to eat before the races started. When I came back I went from the hauler right to the starting line for the first 250 race. As I was leaving the pits to eat there was an aid station set up for those who were suffering from the heat, I’d say there were around twenty people being treated and this was for those in the pits only, I understand there were other aid stations around the track.

I went from the starting line in each moto to the mechanics area and watched the races from there. I did not go back to the hauler after the first 250 moto. It was so hot I would have expended too much energy for this old man and would have ended up in one of those aid stations.

From my view point it was apparent Deegan is so much faster than anybody else, the only rider even in his zip code was Joe Shimoda. As Deegan was working his way to the front he was hanging it out, once in front he would pull a gap then just settle in and ride laps. When Joe finally made it to second and was actually gaining on Deegan, he would wick it up and keep the gap. The difference in riding styles between those two was dramatic, Joe doesn’t look like he’s going fast and Deegan always does. It was a treat to have one of the 250 Gas Gas riders Casey Corcoran get the hole shot and lead a bunch of laps, I think he has the talent but has been hurt way too much to stay up front at this point. Ryder De Francisco is in the same boat as Casey he has the speed but can’t stay healthy.

It was great to see #7 AP lead darn near the whole race, he is fun to watch ride, he’s tall thin and all over the bike. When Eli is really trying he’s exciting to watch, especially in the second moto when he was so far behind. When all the 450’s went by the mechanic’s area the RPM’s were all way up, except Jet his bike was noticeably lower in the RPM range but just as fast as the other bikes, he is so smooth.

Too bad it was so hot, the riders hid out and even if they had their families with them they were staying cool, there just wasn’t the normal number of kids playing in the pits or in the pit lanes. I still had a good time, I assume I’ll do it next year; it’s hard to find a great gig like this.

Doug McCaleb 21J    

PS So, I’ve been bragging lately about how sharp I think I am mentally, after all I’m just about to be less than six months before I turn 84 and I just wrote the above story. Well not so fast, the other day I bought gas for my pickup and paid $13 for the drive through car wash, I take the receipt drive into the car wash line pull up to enter my code and notice the end of the receipt was torn off so no code number. I can’t back out because you have to zig, zag to get into the car wash. I leave my pickup running with the door open and walk back to the pump to see if I tore the receipt off and the end might still be there with the code on it, but no luck. I could just drive through the car wash go around and get it taken care of inside the store, but decide I’m here so I buy another car wash at the machine in the car wash line, but this time it costs me $14, no problem I’ll get the pickup washed then go into the store and straighten it all out and get a $14 credit. I’m explaining all this to a clerk when another clerk injects himself into the conversation we end up having a discussion about the code only being good for 7 days and I say no it’s good for months, he says no I say yes, the first clerk looks at the receipt says it says here it’s good until September the second clerks says we need to change that, so the next thing I know I’m walking out of there thinking I have until September to use the code. Problem is the only code I have is for the $14 car wash I bought while in line and I used that code it to get my pickup washed, if you can remember all of this the first receipt for $13 didn’t have the code on it because either I or the person before me ripped the receipt in such a way that it didn’t get printed. So the question now is do I go back and try explaining this to another clerk or do I just pay the extra $14 on top of the $13 I already paid? That’s right I’m doubling down and taking my chances I can successfully explain this to another clerk.  

I’m telling this story to my wife after I’ve written the above and decided to show her the receipts and guess what, the first clerk reprinted the original receipt so it has the original code which will be good until September; I’m so glad I didn’t walk back in there and prove to them I’m not the sharpest knife in the drawer.    

Hangtown...A View From the Pits

55^th annual Hangtown

2024 AMA National Championship motocross round at Hangtown was the 55^th year for the Dirt Diggers Motorcycle Club and still the only motorcycle club to put on a national championship motocross event in the country.

Well here I am again, rolling into the Prairie City OHV Park in my little motor home for the fourth time, to volunteer to be a security person in the team Husqvarna pits. It’s a great gig that I enjoy doing very much.

Friday afternoon I pulled in to the credential parking lot next to the will call and security tents to pick up my stuff. And as it has been in the past all they had for me was this year’s gray wrist band and my RV parking permit, the gray wrist ban  by itself is enough to get me anywhere in the facility. But I was missing my official big “Staff” lanyard and either a T shirt that said Event Security on it or bright yellow vest that said the same thing, I got both.

It was probably the hottest day of the year somewhere a little over 90 and the nearest tree to me was at least 100 yards away. So the first thing I did when I pulled into the Diggers parking area was fire up the generator and turn on the AC. A couple of hours later I rode my E bike down to the WC area again and finally hooked up with the leader of the security team and got the rest of my stuff and was told to meet the next morning at 5:30 for a team meeting.

The Dirt Diggers were serving dinner to all the volunteers in the Diggers reserved parking area where I was. Dinner was excellent and the next morning they were offering big breakfast burritos to volunteers as well. An interesting side note, I know a lot of members of the Dirt Diggers and the Polka Dots and there were a lot of Polka Dots who volunteered to help at Hangtown and there were a lot of them who camped out there, but they were not in the Dirt Diggers camping area. Apparently the Dirt Diggers are more than willing to accept them as volunteers but apparently they are not allowed to camp in the Dirt Diggers compound. I guess sometimes we never grow up.

5:30 AM is beyond early for this old long time retired man; I set my alarm for 4:30 and turned out the lights. I woke at 3:55 to pee and of course couldn’t go back to sleep. Sleep deprived I made my way down to the meeting on time. I think all the flaggers plus a couple of other volunteer groups plus all the security people were there, it was kind of a shit show, but eventually it all worked out and everyone went to where ever they were supposed to go. I took my E bike and rode down the hill into the pits at 6:00 AM there were only a handful of people there. I rode my E bike up and down all rows where the factory racing team rigs as well as all the smaller teams and privateer rigs were parked, it was very surreal in the early morning daylight, no bikes to be seen or equipment lying around all the factory rigs were dark no lights anywhere. Eventually people started showing up and by 7 or so things were starting to ramp up. One of the first things that started happening around the factory rigs at least besides the bikes being unloaded was someone on the teams were starting to cook breakfast and the smells filled the air. Everywhere I rode I could smell all the good smells cooking and there’s nothing like the smell of bacon cooking in the morning.

I had been assigned to find and bring a whole outside security company team, about sixteen in total to a meeting in the pits at 7:30 with the head of the Dirt Diggers security team and the AMA head of pit security. These team members were then dispersed one each to factory and larger teams as security. I went to my spot in the Husky pits.

At 8:00 AM the pits are open to those who have purchased a pit pass. The pits are open until 12:00 PM then all the security people along with county Sheriffs, etc. sweep the area removing all of those who don’t have the proper credentials and from then on the pits are closed. From 8 to noon it slowly gets more and more crowded, I think during the last hour most of the teams make their riders available to fans for autographs and pictures. The Honda pits, with the Lawrence brothers, the Yamaha pits, with Hayden Deegan and some of the other popular Star Racing riders and the KTM pits with Chase Sexton and Aaron Pleesinger. The Honda pits were over whelmed. After noon and the rest of the day my job becomes a lot less vigilant. One of the changes I noticed this year is the number of kids that were now roaming around in the pits. Like little gangs, not malicious just hanging out together trying to entertain themselves while whoever they belong to does whatever it is they do in the pits. All that I saw had the proper credentials to be in the pits. Most will probably spend the summer traveling around the country, how cool is that. Also more and more of the riders have started families it was common to see say someone like Justin Barica walking around holding his kid or Christen Craig’s son playing catch in the Husky pits.

For those of you who are motocross fans you will probably know that Husky has two 450 riders Malcolm Stewart and Christen Craig , Craig is just starting to ride after a history of injuries this year and Malcolm made it through the SX series after being out most all of 2023. And this was just his second outdoor race in ten years and I think maybe his second race on a 450 outdoors. In fact Malcolm said the last time he was at Hangtown he was riding a kick start bike. So both of those guys are just trying to get up to speed again and if you are a fan you also know RJ Hampshire broke his hand before the first outdoor race. Husky brought up a young guy named Casey Cochran to ride a 250, Casey was part of the 250 SX futures which were part of the SX series. He rode well enough to be the number one 250 qualifier. Those of you who know who Malcolm is know his brother is James Stewart and their father Big James who’s about as well known as his two sons. He hung out in the hospitality area a lot and quite frankly spent a lot of time signing autographs and taking pictures. I introduced myself and we chatted off and on during the day and I can tell you based my conversations and observations he seemed to be a very, very nice man, very funning and laughed a lot.    

 I’m too old to just stand there for hours so I bring a chair and try and position it so when sitting I can see what’s going on primarily in the rig where the all the bikes and mechanics are. Saturday I chased the shade for hours and eventually ended up in a corner until the sun ran me out. Husky has two big rigs one is used primarily for hospitality. As I’m sitting there I had a fair amount of people I know some in groups and some individually stopped by to speak with me, most were laughing at the fact I was a security person asking the obvious question, what was I supposed to be guarding. I told Big James he wasn’t the only celebrity around here.

Between noon and 1:00 PM things in the pits were quieter but more serious; the first 250 race would start a little after 1:00 PM. All the race activities revolve around the TV coverage, everything is on their schedule.

I watched the first 250 race from the comfort of the Husky hospitality area sitting in the shade watching it on TV. I followed the Husky riders and mechanics down to the starting line for the first 450 race. I was sitting underneath a couple of pop ups on a bale of hay at the end of the starting line I had a perfect down the line view of the starting gate and actually could see who came out of the gate first. After the gate drop I followed the mechanics down through a tunnel to the mechanics area and watched the race from there. After Jets crash he came into the mechanics area right by me to have his front end straighten before going back out.  

I didn’t go back to the pits until after the last race of the day. I would go back through the tunnel to the start line sit or stand in the shade under the pop ups and wait for the next race. So I watched the 2^nd 250 race and both 450 races between those two areas. All the credentials I had gave me access to anywhere, yes I know, but someone had to do it. While sitting on the hay bales in the shade and when the riders would return from their sight laps or after the finish they would ride right by where I was sitting. If I stuck my foot out a foot from where I was sitting the riders would have run over it. I told one of the guys if I had a stick I could stick it in Deegan’s wheel when he rode by just to make it a little more fair. But he did a big helicopter move right in front of the mechanics area and gave the moto win to Tom Vialle.

Aaron Plessinger has a huge fan base almost as loud as Jets fans and when he led almost the entire race they were loud everywhere. But the man of the day was Chase Sexton he came from a ways back in the first moto to win, but came from dead last to pass Plessinger on the last lap to win the second the 2^nd moto was incredible to watch. Many thought Sexton was the first AMA 450 outdoor rider to go from dead last to first, but apparently in 2017 Jeffrey Herlings making a rare AMA appearance went last to first in a moto.

After the last race I went back to the Husky pits to pick up my bike and my chair and say goodbye to some of the Husky people I’ve come to know. I really enjoyed talking with Tyler who is Malcolm’s mechanic. Said goodbye to Big James and Malcolm who was lying in an ice cold tub of water cooling off, he looked spent.

Something of interest I noticed Saturday, first of all the mechanics washed the factory bikes a total of five times that day. After the first practice, the second practice, after each moto and after the races before they put them back in the rigs. I also saw on the Husky 250 factory bike (I’m sure the KTM and Gas Gas bikes had them as well) in the air box they had what looked like some sort of a nozzle to do I don’t know what, inject air towards the throttle body? Made me wonder if it was some sort of air pump to increase air flow, it was shinny like either polished aluminum or stainless steel but the thing took up a lot of room in the air box.

I believe the thing that impressed me the most about this year’s racing was the talent level of the riders. I’ve been to most of these events during its 55 year history and it seemed as though there were always a half riders in each class who were by the end of each moto just circulating around the track waiting for the checkered flag. Not so this year, now maybe it’s been like this for a while and I just didn’t notice it but it stood out this year. I dare say if we saw the last place rider at a local event we would be like wow. I understand there were sixty, seventy riders in each class trying to qualify for this year’s event, that’s a lot of talent. Now just maybe that’s part of the reason Jet was only able to make it up to 24^th by the end of the first moto, although to be fair he was a long way back before he even caught up to the last place rider.   

I rode back up the hill to my motor home turned on the AC laid on the couch and cooled off. After saying goodbye to a few others I took off and headed home to spend a day or so recuperating. It was worth it and if I’m able I will probably do it again next year, after all its tuff to get a phony baloney job like this.

The weather and the fans were great and we were all treated to a special day of racing. The new track layout and prep were amazing as well.

Doug 21J      

Dual Sport Perfection

Nevada County Woods Riders (NCWR) held their annual fund raising event this year this past weekend at the Skillman campgrounds in Nevada County, which is located about 20 miles above Nevada City CA. Dry camping was available and I’d estimate over half the camp sites were full and by Saturday morning the entire campground was full.

Because of all the snow this year’s event was limited on the amount of single track available do to fallen trees and huge snow drifts still covering a lot of the trails. Skillman is just below the 5000 ft altitude marker, so most of the trail system is above 5000 feet. In past years the event typically started out with the first forty miles single track, then back to camp for lunch then an 80 mile loop consisting of as many dirt roads and two tracks as possible. The second loop doesn’t need any alternate routes

This year’s event was sold out with 140 entrants and started with a 97 mile loop with as many dirt roads and two tracks as possible. After having to postpone the event a few times because of the weather, the weather this past weekend couldn’t have been better. Finishing the loop back at camp for a BBQ lunch provided by the club was waiting; those who wanted to participate in the raffle had to buy their tickets before they left on the 97 mile loop. Because when they got back to camp for lunch the club volunteers had pulled the winning number’s bagged their prizes along with a 2023 Dual Sport T-shirt and other goodies they put the rider’s numbers on the bags so all they had to do was stop by the tables and pick up their goodies. And it turned out the club had enough swag to give out to all the riders, thanks to the very generous donations from the manufactures and motorcycle shops that help support the club. After lunch for those who hadn’t had enough riding could ride a 26 mile loop of single track

Some side notes, two weeks before the event, Skillman Campground had about four feet of snow covering the open areas. One of the members brought in his bob cat to clear the open areas of snow. There were thirty NCWR’s club members and five club members from the local equestrian club (Skillman Campground is a popular campground used by equestrian clubs) volunteered their time to clean up the campground of branches, twigs and stuff to help get it ready for the event.

I’ve said this before and it bears repeating, one of the things that makes this club so special is the willingness of its members to give back by volunteering their time to something they know to be worthwhile

Everyone I talked with had smiles on their faces when asked how the ride was.

It’s very rewarding and comforting to see a large group of like minded people show up for one purpose, to help put on an event like this and to be able to enjoy being part of an event like this doing something they all love doing riding their motorcycles.  

A reminder, this can happen to any of us any time we ride, two of the riders who were riding together collided and one of them sustained major injuries and is as of this writing is still in the hospital, we all wish him well.

Doug 21J

Kid’s Ride Day

On a beautiful Sunday the Nevada County Woods Riders and Scott Rabeneau hosted a ride day at Scott’s home, I think this was the third one he’s hosted. Scott has an area that has been used as a trials riding area for years. Sunday morning before the families showed up a friend of one of the club members showed up with a big skid steer and reworked the track into a very nice track for the little guys and gals. The club provided some barbequed hamburgers and hot dogs and the rest of the food was pot luck, which always means plenty of good food.

There were a couple of grandpa’s there with their grandkids plus the moms and dads, plus us spectators Stan and I were there and we are the two oldest members of the club at over 81. Stan brought his E bike and put a few miles on it.

It was so enjoyable to watch the little guys do lap after lap, after lap. There were of course a few crashes along the way. One little guy had a pretty good little get off, got up and hobbled off crying his head off. When they took his boot off you could see the black and blue appearing on his toes before your eyes. I walked over to him while he was still sobbing and asked if he was done for the day, through his tear stained cheeks and still a little sobbing he shook his head NO. And sure enough he did put his boot back on and rode the rest of the day. And that says a lot about his family and all the other kids who crashed not one of them quit for the day. There weren’t any soccer mom’s and dad’s there yelling, all the kids rode at their level and by the way they all got better by the end of the not because someone was yelling at them, because they were riding with each other and against each other as well. There was no bickering amongst the parents or the kids.

One family had seen the Face book posting Scott put up, called and asked if it would ok if they came even though they weren’t members, Scott said yes. Their little almost three year old daughter was amazing to watch on a Stasic by the end of the day it was clear she had no fear. Their father will be joining club by the way.

In this day and age with all the negative things in this world it was wonderful and reassuring to spend the day with families who are great role models for their kids and are instilling great values that will help them and give us all a little hope for the future.

And cud do’s to Scott for being willing to offer his place and heart to do this for these kids, the future of our country. 

I’m so glad I spent the day watching these guys do lap after lap I think some may have done 500 laps. One of the little guys still on his bike with his helmet on the handle bars fell asleep.

Doug McCaleb

21 J

21J Deep Thoughts

Sometimes in order for me to truly understand what I’m thinking or feeling I need to verbalize it or write it down. I wrote this for me, but my hope would be in reading this you might find something that resonates with you. If you did nothing could make me happier. 

I’ve always believed throughout my life I’m lucky and unlucky at the same time. During my life time I’ve had things happen to me and I could say that was unlucky but, at the same time I could also always say yes that was unlucky but it could have been so much worse.

Most of my life I considered a lot of the good things that happened to me as being lucky. As I’ve gotten older I no longer think some of those good things were just being lucky. I use to always say things like I’m lucky, things like I’ve been pretty healthy my whole life. I’ve been lucky. I’ve been able to race and ride dirt bikes for all these years.

Well yes, I have been lucky in that way, but I no longer believe it’s been just luck. Somewhere during these past years I started realizing, this isn’t just luck. I’ve never been religious, never really been exposed to organized religion. If someone asked about my views or beliefs regarding religion I would usually say something like I consider myself to be a spiritual person and not much more. Interesting though for many years, say after a day of trail riding on my way home, I would sort of look up and out of my windshield and say thank you, thank you for allowing me to do this again even if I had tweaked myself a little that day.  I also started saying this was the best ride ever (Thanks Eric), especially if someone asked how my ride was, because it could actually have been my last ride.

My views on spirituality have changed and continue to evolve. One of those changes was recognizing I am blessed. I can’t say I feel them around me as some people do, but I do believe there are sprits (Some people call them angels and spirit guides) who have looked out for me all my life and there are forces at play in my life if I listen to will help me along the way.

I spent nearly fifteen years as a Hospice volunteer, I found it to be very rewarding and my views on death and dying have changed. If you know you have made a difference at the end of someone’s life and if you’re lucky (That word again) they made a difference in yours and if you are willing to let that happen, it can be one of the finer moments in your life. And, at that moment, you will know what it means to be a human being operating at your very best. There are unlimited things we can do to feel we have given ourselves to something greater expecting nothing in return other than the inner feeling of just being a human being in the best possible way.  

But, I am a human being and I don’t always do the right thing for the right reasons. I’ve had many times in my life when it didn’t go my way perhaps at some else’s expense or at my own. I’ve had times when l felt like I’ve had more failures than successes, but I’ve learned when I’m am truly being the best possible human being I can be, I know I’m being successful. 

I spent most of my life thinking of myself as primarily a physical person. That’s who I was. I put no value on myself as being anything else. Certainly not as an intellectual person, I didn’t begin to think of myself in that way until later in my life, thankfully I did.  At about the same time I began to realize someday I will begin to lose this physicality, then what? Fortunately I was also discovering I had other things to offer and as time has marched on and my physicality has begun to diminish those other attributes I discovered began to supplement the physical me.

I had two years of dealing with neck issues that sort of started preparing me for the day I could no longer ride. Intellectually I knew that day was coming for years, but not today, right. Well when it finally happened I was still hoping for a fix, still am to a degree, but my sights are a lot more realistic now.

I’ve sold most of my bikes and surprisingly when I sold the dirt bike I had bought, but never got the chance to ride it was a relief and in many ways brought closure to that part of my life.

Again I’ve been blessed. I’m now over eighty and complaining that I have just recently lost my ability to do what I did for nearly fifty years. I’m also blessed in that I’m still able to form complete sentences and like many others do struggle with CRS but as long as I can continue writing things like this I’m doing alright.

Now I find myself at another crossroads the one extreme physical and mental activity (motorcycle racing) I had done for nearly fifty years is suddenly gone. I have had the time and been able to develop my other skills and now my other skills are taking the place of all that physicality. One of the things that has been very important to me all my life is daydreaming. I’ve done it my whole life.  I’m very good at it and practice doing it all the time. When day dreaming I can do anything, be anything, be anyone, go anywhere, I can have good endings or bad ones, I can be a good guy or a bad guy and I have done all those things. If I’m someplace and I feel comfortable and I am left alone I can close my eyes and daydream. Even if I’m someplace where I’m uncomfortable if I’m alone with my thoughts I can close my eyes and daydream. I can take myself anywhere and be anyone. Still those physical abilities are diminishing and for someone who has relied on, depended on those abilities it is freighting.

But I am adapting and I am better equipped to handle the inevitable changes coming in my life. 

Doug - 21J